Solid Ground

donderdag 22 april 2021

Ik wil, ik voel, ik denk of ik weet

Ooit gaf een therapeute mij twee adviezen:
• Schrap 'moeten' uit je vocabulair.
• Spreek vanuit 'ik wil', 'ik voel' en 'ik denk' of 'ik weet'.
Het bevrijdde mij o.a. van het praten over mijzelf in de derde persoon enkelvoud. Iemand stelt de volgende vraag: "Je kwam Amy tegen. Hoe voelde dat?" Let maar eens op hoevaak je iets dergelijks hoort: "Nou, je weet wel... Je krijg vlinders in je buik, je eet niet, je denkt alleen aan haar."
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'Ik' schept ruimte. Met 'ik' neem je jouw plek in. Daarmee kan de ander in zichzelf staan. Er kan niet geprojecteerd worden of overlopen in andermans veld/energie, want de grenzen zijn gesteld. Een ieder is vrij zichzelf te zijn. We zijn inderdaad allemaal één en kunnen betwisten of er grenzen zijn. Toch is het uitspreken van 'ik' het claimen van jouw ruimte. Iets dat we vaak omzeilen door 'je' te gebruiken.
'Het is...' bestaat niet. Er is geen objectieve norm. Spruiten zijn niet vies. 'Ik vind spruiten vies' geeft de ander de ruimte om ze wel lekker te vinden, en niet het gevoel dat zij/hij/zij raar is/zijn voor het wel lekker vinden ervan, ze hoeven zich niet te verdedigen.
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Met 'ik' neem je verantwoording en ben je aansprakelijk voor jezelf en jouw daden, acties, gedachten, waarnemingen. Recent werd ik (weer eens) beschuldigd van 'te' zijn. 'Jij bent te lastig. Jouw energie is te lastig.' Niets aan iemand is per definitie moeilijk. De ander ervaart dat mijn manier van zijn niet matcht met wat zij/hij/zij prettig vindt/vinden, of zou willen. De poging tot projectie is compleet door er vanuit te gaan dat er zoiets bestaat als een objectieve manier van zijn die iedereen exact zo ervaart, waarbij ik mij in reactie schuldig hoor te voelen. 'Ik vind dit (te) lastig' is een opening tot communicatie. Zo kun je laten wat er is zonder van de ander te vragen te veranderen zodat jij je niet ongemakkelijk voelt, de ander verantwoordelijk te houden voor jouw gevoel. Want voor dat laatste draag je echt alleen zelf de verantwoording.
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'Een van onze grootste vrijheden is hoe we op dingen reageren.'
Uit 'De jongen, de mol, het paard en de vos'
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Solid Ground
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#ik #ruimte #grenzen #radicalselflove #taal #verantwoording #projectie #oordelen

zaterdag 10 april 2021

solid ground

Last night I got a question from my accountant and instantly I am hit by waves of anxiety, despair, frustration and sadness. I know to keep commiting to Trust as the triggered me messily flops around. Everything rears its head: imposter syndrome, extreme brutal innercritic, not feeling good enough in every corner and field of Life, anywhere I've ever felt unseen and unheared, victim syndrome, taking and making everything personal, my survival patterns to only see drama and fight as my option cause the hurt part in me can't believe I can actually be me and be accepted and loved, let alone be supported and helped. On November 16, 2018 I went to the Chamber of Commerce to get my business reoriented. By a stroke from Universe the woman who was assigned to me, got enthousiastic when I explained my work, and I got registered under 'spiritual and social services', officially recognised for my energywork. I am autodidact, self taught. Life, Universe has been telling me my whole life this is the work I am here to do: bringing solid ground. It has taken a lot to step into my role, my life's mission and work, figuring out what work really is beyond the narrow norm we apply to everyting and everywhere. I focused so hard on getting outside validation, recognition, social acceptance. I swallowed all conditioning whole, tried to get rid of everything me. It wasn't pretty. Again I am invited to become even more me, to stop investing, stop taking the bait, stop playing the game, leaving old be, embrace all. And believe me, I still do that kicking and screaming, throwing a tantrum like 'this is unfair and what's wrong with this world', lamenting change sucks, cause I know real well what it is I am to do.
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Solid Ground, @solid_ground.projects
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#labor #work #acceptingmyplace #acceptingmylife #solidground #evolvement #growth #commitment #commitmenteveryday #inclusion #staytruetoallthatisme #stayingtrue #wisewoman #energywork #gettingovermyself #theboythemolethefoxandthehorse

dismantle

I firmly believe that only when we go through dismantling any kind of internalised biases and discriminating, though especifically white supremacy or internalised anti-blackness, on an individual basis... only then will we get the full picture of humanity and Life. Considering the current state of our world, build over centuries, only then will we become fully human again.
Whatever level or levels anyone needs to go through is unique to that person and depends on many factors like privilege.
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Project ColorWhite, @project_colorwhite
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#dismantling #unlearning #evolving #projectcolorwhite #solidground #inclusion #dismantlewhitesupremacy #humanity #theboythemolethefoxandthehorse

zaterdag 3 april 2021

kakelvers

Kakelverse Crone
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#kakelversecrone #solidground #onthemove #theladymerel

vrijdag 2 april 2021

bumbags

Made my own bumbags/fanny packs with a strap I once got with a bag but didn't use, a toiletries bag, and an little orange clutch my mom knitted for me awhile ago.
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#bumbag #fannypack #creative #creativeprocess #theladymerel #personalstyle #solidground

woensdag 31 maart 2021

Zolang we niet structurele stappen nemen om witte superioriteit te ontmantelen, inclusie niet laten weerschijnen in ieder beleid, organisatiestructuur, weerklinken in een nieuw te bouwen witte cultuur... brengt iedere stap meer segregatie en discriminatie, zullen grote groepen en dus continenten buiten de boot vallen, zelfs als we zeggen 'samen doen'.
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Project ColorWhite, @project_colorwhite
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#endwhitesupremacy #solidground #buildanewwhiteculture #buildnew #inclusion #projectcolorwhite

maandag 29 maart 2021

Models and artists

Hail to artists who treat their models respectful and decent, who take care of them, pay them a fair price, who understand the importance of a good model, the sacred bond and collaboration between artist and model, who recognise embodiement, the value a model can bring, how they can inspire and lit fires of creation beyond the intial poses, bring breath and magic to a work.
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Art by Marlies Verda
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#modelling #models #artmodels #artmodelling #inspiration #creation #collaboration #artists #art #themystiqueofcreation

Rules of Engagement

I have posted these rules awhile ago on Project ColorWhite.
They are inspired by Layla F Saad when I read about her practice of healthy boundaries and self care during her 'Me & White Supremacy Challenge' (now a workbook, free to download), July 2018.
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So let’s get clear…
1) I practice Radical Selflove. I come from a place of Love, Abundance and being whole. Therefor I won’t defend or explain my own healthy boundaries of what I do or do not allow around me and in connection with me.
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2) When coming into this space, my business Solid Ground, work and projects I do, but also my other spaces on FB and Insta, or any physical space where you might encounter me, you need to be able to carry yourself, be fully responsible for yourself, for whatever stirs up in you when you might get uncomfortable, get triggered, get emotional. I hold space for myself and work I do anywhere, but I am not doing any emotional labor for anyone. If you invite me or ask me, I will stand by you, but the work is yours and yours alone.
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4) Educate yourself. You are an intelligent human being. I am not responsible for your level of being, awareness and knowledge. Again, no emotional labor will come from me.
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5) Respect is the formost requirement when dealing with me in this space… or actually anywhere else. We listen to eachother and acknowledge that everyone is in their own process at their own pace. If you are being disrespectful and/or hateful or express yourself in a manner which is less then respectful, you will be blocked, no explanation, no discussion.

About Merel (she/her)

I make things visible, my presence brings forth what needs or is wanting to surface. Through this natural abillity of my soul I am capable to see masks or masking, layers, conditioning for what it is, behind it, above, below, beyond. I see or things are reveiled to me, and it feeds my apetite for understanding people, earth, processes. Recently someone who just met me said what I hear a lot: "You have that vibe that anyone can talk to you about anything. I feel comfortable telling you" There is not much that shocks me (anymore), I can hold space and listen to just about anything, and I have. I am constantly in awe about the depth of our human experience, and I mean in all its compexity, shadowsides and the downright ugly too. It doesn't mean there aren't any personal reactions or judgements, I practice healthy boundaries and Radical Selflove. I have learned that me keeping my space gives everyone else space too, room to breath, to just be. And through that practice I can hear and leave responsibility with the other person. That's how I learn everyday, see beauty, love, abundance, suffering, heartache, loneliness, miscommunication, violence, abuse, innocence, manifestation. I have no desire for all of us to be the same. You can be opposite of me in what you believe, or what I would tolerate in my life, I will still see human and listen.