dinsdag 29 september 2020

Showing up

Today I choose to show up for myself - and thus for my son - making my selfcare and what I want to experience on a daily basis a priority, while getting out of my overactive obsessive overprotective brain. Instinctively feeling all the times I choose differently, where I let opportunity slight.
Mees had a school sponsor run today, which I had decided earlier to go see as a surprise. But this morning I woke plagued with fear about some work issue, of course relating to money. These days fear is showing me where I get triggered in my traumas. I wanted to stay put with excuses of not feeling to well, being tired, telling myself I would probably not make it on time anymore, figuring if I didn't tell Mees that I had intended to go he would be none the wiser. Then I felt how it would be not going and that that would feel even worse. I got myself in motion. As it turned out the sun was out in full glory, making it a gorgeous Fall day, I got to walk through an area with lots of trees (his school is really well located, Kralingen/Oud Crooswijk) which made the commute light and fun, and I got to watch most of the sponsor run (yes, he walked like most). Bonus, Mees and I traveled home together, even popped into a store to get some yammi Polish cheese. We are good like that, enjoying each other's company. (Yes, a grocery run we see as fun time together.) Coming home I longed for food. I choose to hold off and instead do my breathing Buteyko exercises first, which makes them more effective. Showing up for my health, spirit, and immune system. All in all I got my spirits up.
Result school sponsor run: @vh.mees did 12 laps along the track, sponsored by all his grandparents, @babischx, @ilja.dreijer, his dad, and me. Cheers!

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